Malinga's Pet

Malinga's Pet
Malinga's Pet
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Anonymous's picture

Hilarious...!

Good one Sakthivel..!

Anju

sdf's picture
Member since:
21 October 2012
Last activity:
5 years 13 weeks

Trolling the Indian team

Sehwag- Dude is so bad that coaching manuals use his shots as examples to teach children what not to do. The reason Boycott's mom-in-law gave up cricket was that she saw Sehwag opening overseas for an international team. The members of the Indian paraplegic team for the Special Olympics have better foot-work than Virender Sehwag. Instead of hair transplant, should have gone for a brain transplant. Afridi's brain is still awaiting donors

Gambhir-With one eye on the captaincy and the other on Ponting at slips, is it a wonder that the bloke is playing as he is? Gambhir should let Aussies fire their fielding coach and sign a contract with them. He provides them with much more catching practice than the fielding coach ever did. Plus the dude has a mouth which never stops.

Dravid-I have seen nameless, paint-less walls visibly cringe when Dravid is compared to them. 100 year old haunted mansions walls are made of stronger stuff than him. If Dravid was an actual wall, insurance companies would pay premiums to the people owning him. The gap between his bat and pad is so perfect that doctors use it as the dilation standard for a woman's vagina while delivering healthy babies. ICC is also reconsidering changing 'bowled' (b) to 'Doing a Dravid' (dd). Oil sellers are using footages of Dravid in slips to promote the effectiveness of their product. The song 'Chikani-Chameli' was a tribute to Dravid's slippery palms

Sachin-Sachin's quest for his 100 is more elusive than the quest for the Holy Grail or the fountain of youth. Things likely to happen before his next ton;
Aliens visit Mumbai with placards calling for Sachin's retirement.
Rakhi Sawant wins the Nobel Prize for Physics
An honest Indian politician serves 2 days in office
Petrol prices come below Rs 50
Advani completes his 100th rath yatra
Raj Thackery marries a bride from UP

Sachin is like the proverbial bad penny which is useless yet is not thrown away because of sentimental value. He is as useful as Mahatma Gandhi's portrait in a government office. Grandparents get nostalgic when they recall the happy times in their youth when they thought Sachin was going to retire. Watching him play is like stepping into a time machine which got stuck at a useless point in time for 100 years. Government of India is mulling about declaring Sachin's 100th ton a national asset. Something having lots of sentimental value but ultimately useless. Bharat Ratna is being used as a bribe to entice Sachin to retire

VVS Laxman-Laxman's entire tally of runs in the last years is less than syllables in his name. His magic wrists have become rustier than a nail stuck in a mermaid's head. He is so late on his shots that the next batsman is also declared out when he plays a forward defensive and gets bowled. Very, very slow Laxman is a poster boy for retirement homes and used as an example of what happens to you and your close oneswhen you don't have a decent retirement plan

Kohli-You can take a boy out of Delhi but you cannot take the gaalis out of him. Kohli's of the opinion that abuses to a batsman is like the battle cries in karate. He knows the in and out of every incestuous relationship of his and the oppositions players with their families. He is generous enough to include the crowd in his shower of blessing. On the odd occasion that he does score a few runs, he thanks the maker with more abuses. His next plan is to publish a coaching manual with which abuse goes with which shot in cricket. People calling Bradman an all-time great never tested his ability to play and abuse at the same time

MS Dhoni-At a young age Dhoni achieved his ambition of being in every ad ever made for TV. He also plays cricket sometimes out of the generosity of his heart. Dhoni is an expert of deciding the least threatening position in the batting lineup which gives the maximum glory. His technique is studied extensively by those generals whose troops all sacrifice and get bravery awards posthumously, while he gets promotions after promotions. Dhoni also wishes that he could get a time machine and go back and abolish test matches forever. Dhoni's astrologer warned him about stepping out of the country at a very young age. 'The soil of the mother-land', said the astrologer, 'Will bring you great success. While the soil away is the root of all evil' The BCCI can only hope to pry the captaincy out of his cold-dead fingers

Zaheer Khan-A medical marvel who is able to play international cricket despite being entirely made of China, and who, after each match, is wrapped in cotton wool and kept in a clean and dry environment, behind three layers of weather-proof glass. Zaheer injures his tendons while straining on the loo. People are strictly forbidden to give him an encouraging pat for fear of breaking his back. Zaheer is often seen encouraging young fast bowlers even at the risk of injuring his shoulder muscles while gesturing.

Ishant Sharma-Lambi race ka ghoda. That phrase is used to describe not Ishant's career, but his face. The former is usually compared to the Dodo bird. Many firms are offering insurance on the outer edge of the cricket pitches when Ishant bowls. His bowling style can be perfectly described if we picture Romesh Powar on the pitch. Short and wide. One can only conclude that the Indian team are under considerable pressure from under-world dons to continuously include him in the team

Rohit Sharma-BCCI knew that even summers in Australia would be cold and so they brought in Rohit Sharma to warm the cold benches. With his generous back-side, he was able to do the work of three while also providing tutoring and learning from Kohli about abuses. Both often practised the abuses on one another

(Last edited by sdf on October 21, 2012 - 01:35)
Sakthivel's picture
Member since:
28 March 2012
Last activity:
40 weeks 5 days

Welcome to IC. This is a Cricket website where politics are not allowed. Kindly remove comments regarding Advani,Raj Thackery etc.

kk_mix412's picture
Member since:
4 August 2012
Last activity:
5 years 8 weeks

[This comment has been removed as it is not consistent with our comment submission guidelines.]

kk_mix412's picture
Member since:
4 August 2012
Last activity:
5 years 8 weeks

[This comment has been removed as it is not consistent with our comment submission guidelines.]

Sakthivel's picture
Member since:
28 March 2012
Last activity:
40 weeks 5 days

Thanks Anju & Kunal Cool cool

kk_mix412's picture
Member since:
4 August 2012
Last activity:
5 years 8 weeks

Sakthi, you are a gem. B-)

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